How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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