I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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