There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
