did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
