I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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