spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
