ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
