Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
