im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
