My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
