Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
