Umm I'm too high to move.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
