Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
