So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
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