maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
