So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Randomize