what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
