a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
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