Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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