worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
im calling her cock vulture from now on
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
