there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
