Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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