Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
