glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
