There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
