she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
