i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
