I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize