bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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