shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
