I look better un-naked...
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize