he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize