Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
