if you like me you must not know who I am
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
