But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
