just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
this hospital has no fireball
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
