You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
