this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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