ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
