My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
