my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
third nipple confirmed
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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