In the future we'll all be gay
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
