is your mom at the bar?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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