Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
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