you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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