Kiss
Puke
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
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