I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
