once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
