i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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