oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
