She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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