What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
