i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
