honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
