he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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