the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
