we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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