Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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