He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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